Engagement pictures- young and naive
Be Their Biggest Cheerleader
Do not put them down or make them feel like they are not good enough. You loved them enough to be with them so treat them that way! Appreciate who they are and tell them and anyone around you how much you appreciate them and how wonderful you think they are. They will love you for it and you both will spend more time trying to make each other happy.
The Little Things are The Little Things
When I would go out in public when Dave passed away, it made me crazy to hear couples bickering, arguements in the store and petty disagreements made me want to SCREAM. How would you like this last words you spoke to your husband to be about him not taking out the garbage or what to buy at the store? You wouldn't- so STOP IT! Do those things really matter anyway? When I look back at the time we wasted in disagreement or argument, I would give him his way in all things to get that time back!
Save the Drama for you Mama (and she probably doesn't want it either)
No door slamming, freaking out or talking to other people about your partner! This type of behavior typically results in a big ugly circle. You throw a fit, they get angry and don't do something you have been asking them to do, you get angrier and quit talking to them, they get madder and start going out with their friends... you get the picture! It doesn't work and it fractures your relationship!
Treat Them as your Best Friend
If you are planning to be with them for the rest of your life, I would hope you would chose somebody who would be your best friend. Always treat them with respect, do not keep secrets from them and DO NOT talk about them to others. Love them through the good and the bad and life will always be good with your best friend beside you.
Do not let things build up, if you need to talk about something, if you are frustrated, take each thing when it is small, talk it out without judgement or screaming and you will happily go about your life.
Put Out a little!
Life gets tough and there are nights where you just want to be left alone to sleep! I get it, believe me I do! Your partner needs to feel connected to you, important and precious. Dave would be the first person to tell you he wished I would have figured this out sooner! The truth is, when you lose them you long for the intimacy, to lay you head on their chest and hear their heart beating. Every widow I have talked to wishes she would have found more time and energy for this when her husband was alive.
Do Not Stay Angry or Bitter
No matter what it takes to work through a problem, take the time to get to the root of it and fix it! Never hold past grudges, if you say you forgive them mean it!
Always Part with Sweet Words and a Kiss
Please let the last words you speak to one another be words of love and hearts that are connected. You never know what life may hold for you so guard your love with everything you have. I was fortunate that the last words to Dave were how proud I was of him for fighting so hard and how much I loved him. I pray for that for everyone.