One week from today on April 28th I invite you to join in the 5th annual LIVE LOUD Day.  Take a moment to think about how you are living your life, are you present in each day?  Do you live in fear or fearlessly?  What is holding you back from being your best self?  What would you do if you were not afraid?  

I ask you to think about something you have always wanted to do, something you are afraid of or something you have been putting off for the future.  You do not have to do it on April 28th but take action this week.  If you need to make a reservation or appointment to complete this challenge, now is the time!  

I have gotten a memorial tattoo, gone para-sailing, rode in a helicopter and celebrated with friends.  Many have joined in the celebration and have done their own challenges.  I am always so excited to hear what others do to LIVE LOUD.  If you are not sure what adventure to try look at a deal site like; Groupon or Living Social and choose something.  Do it!  Do it right now!!  

This day is in honor of my crazy wonderful husband David Ledesma who passed away on April 28, 2009 after a 1 1/2 year battle with cancer.  He LIVED LOUD, he was silly, he grabbed every day and created a party or a memory everywhere he went.  He has his own fan club because if Dave was around fun times and laughter were there with him.  That is why the biggest honor I can give him is to celebrate his life and the way he lived it.  The fact that I choose to do this on the anniversary of his passing is part of the Legacy he taught me.  I will live this life to the fullest so that he will be proud of me when we meet again. I hope he is smiling at some of my escapades and the ways that you choose to LIVE LOUD not only because of him but because you deserve it!  

My brother-in-law bought my sister a Shocklight, it is a combination flashlight/ Stun Gun.  My sister demonstrated how you turn the flashlight on and off and what it sounds like when you push the button for the tazer.  At this point the dogs in the house were hiding and all of the adults (no children were present)  were impressed and thinking that they would be very very careful while handling this wonderful defense mechanism.  

I think we have already established that my mind doesn't work like most peoples.  While they were taking the "Not a toy" message on the front of the box very seriously, my mind was deciding what part of my body I was going to try it on first.  No, I am not into pain but curiosity is one of my biggest traits. Besides, how could I possibly allow my sister to carry this item in her purse thinking she was safe when it might just be a gimmick and really not work at all?  I tried to get T to do it for me but he refused!  He was even sweet enough to offer to take it for me so that I wouldn't have to.  I have been told by people in the past that my recklessness should not affect the people around me so I couldn't allow him to do that for me.  The entire time we were debating my decision around the table with the guys egging me on and the girls begging me not to, I was deciding if I should do it on my skin or through clothes.  Given the probability that an attacker would be dressed- we hope, I decided through my shirt would be best. 

I waited for the people around the table to be busy and most were not looking when I finally got the courage up and pressed the Shocklight to my arm and pushed the button.  The muscle in my arm immediately contracted and almost threw itself off of the light.  An intense zap went through my arm and it would certainly stun an attacker if used.  It didn't leave a mark and the pain did not last.  We read the directions after that, yes I said after (again I do not claim to be all that smart).  Luckily, I didn't test it for 5 seconds because it would have thrown me to the floor and left me confused.  Phew!  Good thing I was smart enough not to do that!  It also stated that if you used the Stun Gun on an attacker you should help them to the floor because they may be accidently injured otherwise. 

This is not a paid advertisement for the Shocklight and they have not paid me for this review. It does work, at least it would be "shocking" to an attacker. If you could manage to hold it to them for 5 seconds please remember to help them to the ground because we wouldn't want them to be injured!  It does have a safety feature that if it were pulled out of your hands it would disable the tazer feature.  I can safely say that my sister can carry it in her purse with some sense of security.

This just leaves one question... there were 10 adults who came in contact with this Shocklight and while there were some who had a moment of thought about what it would feel like to try, only one was crazy enough to actually do it.  What is wired so differently in my head that makes me that one person?  Maybe I'm not really crazy maybe it was simply a sincere desire to protect my sister!  OK maybe not!  Maybe it is purely for others entertainment!

A friend read my Tarot Cards,  she said she hadn't seen anything so fresh and new other than when doing a reading for a high school student just coming out of school, with all of their possibilities ahead of them. 
In so many ways, this makes sense to me. Some would say I already had my new beginning, recently getting married and learning to live this life without Dave.  I think the last 3 1/2 years were practice so that I could learn how to really begin again.  
At the beginning of the reading she asked if there was anything specific I wanted to know.  My question was what to expect in the upcoming year.  The cards said:

• This was a year for a fresh start
  It will be a good financial year for my household
  my biggest obstacle for the year will be myself, my indecision and getting out of my own head.
  I will begin this year from a place of strength and bravery
  I am coming out of a time where I had retreated into myself
  This year, I am ready for fun, to follow my dreams, dream big, be optimistic and a bit whimsical
  There will be a male mentor who will be a positive influence on me this year.
  There will be more children coming into my life.  My daughter is expecting a baby in April. 
  This is the year to let things role
  

I know I could just say "this is crazy" and not believe in the wisdom of the Tarot Cards (tee-hee).  Then I realized that all of these things would serve my life if they were to come true.  Tarot cards or not, I am all in, this is the year of rediscovery.  I have decided to call 2013 A Lotta Living or ALL.  I will only participate in things that contribute to this vision.  I will be ALL in.  I will give everything my ALL.  ALL for 2013!  Will you join me, its going to be a crazy ride!